Light in the Darkness
by Wootar16
Summary: Little bit of Salex fluffy-ness kind of an alternate ending to post S4


**Alright so here is another story that I wrote, not really sure how it turned out. For some reason the first line break wouldn't show up so yeah. . .ENJOY!**

She didn't know what had made them end up sitting in this room; the small doctors office with various plaques on the wall and drawings that were obviously from a young child.

After everything was said and done, division was gone and Sean had found a way back to her. Matching wedding rings glistened on the fourth fingers of their left hands and they had bought a house together but still something was missing.

Trauma; that's why she wouldn't be able to have children, or at least that's what the doctor told her. She and Sean had been trying for months, and were obviously unsuccessful. Five years of being repeatedly punched and kicked in the stomach, years before that going through things she didn't want to talk about, that's why she couldn't have a family. She was devastated.

"You cannot have a child." That's one sentence she has never wanted to hear, one she thinks no one should ever have to hear.

Sean holds her hand as they walk home, telling her it wasn't her fault though he knows she doesn't believe him.

Since being free of Division's hold Alex had been so much more care free, planning a future for them right down to the kind of dog she wanted.

They arrive home and Alex goes straight to bed, shutting the door and laying down fully clothed on top of the covers, staring blankly at the wall across from her. Sean moved in a few hours later, laying behind Alex thinking she was asleep only to see she was staring at the exact same spot on the wall.

He wrapped his hand around her waist only for her to move his hand to rest on her thigh. She needed him close but couldn't stand his arm around her like that because she had pictured it so many times, them late at night and Sean's strong and protective hand sprawled over what she hoped to be her pregnant stomach but now that would never happen.

"You would have been a good dad." Alex whispered, her voice barely audible as it cracked.

"And you a good mom." He whispered before he fell asleep; though Alex remained awake, thinking of the life she would never have.

**LINE BREAK**

Jealousy is a monster. An ugly, disfigured monster that eats at the soul of its prey.

"Nikki, he's so cute!" She cuddles her best friend's baby in her arms. It feels so right.

"He better be. I had to carry him around for eight and a half months." She laughs as she runs a hand through her sweaty hair.

Sean takes a picture of his wife holding the baby. This could have been them. They could have had a kid to love and care for. One that wasn't on loan.

When they leave, he gives her hand a squeeze.

He knows.

* * *

><p>It's a good thing he isn't a father, because he has plenty to learn.<p>

"Danny, what are you doing?" Alex asks, keeping her voice at a nice, calm level. A level that is nowhere near the level inside her head.

"Unca Sean gave me markers to colour with." Sharpie markers, to be exact.

She grabs his hand, which had been idly flipping through a book. "Sean, have you paid any attention to the child we're supposed to be babysitting?"

He looks up. There, along their white walls is a mural. A mural drawn by a three year old.

"That's a really nice stick person. Two arms, two legs. I couldn't have done that at his age." Sean said slowly. Maybe if he acts like it's no big deal, she won't be as angry.

Yeah, that didn't work.

She hoists Daniel onto her hip. He fits along the curve of her body.

This is not fair. That should be their child, fitting perfectly against her body. He can't be the only one to match that description.

"Do we still have the leftover paint in the garage?" Alex asks as she holds the boy.

"Not enough to cover that." Sean winced.

She sighs. "Well, it is along the bottom of the wall. Not many people look down there."

Alex looked back at the wall, a small smile crossing her lips before it turned into a frown. She just wished it was their child that could have drawn that.

"Come on bud," Sean says, taking him from her arms. "You can draw on my laptop."

She raises an eyebrow at him.

Every day he goes to work with that laptop, toddler scribbles and all. If only they were his toddler's scribbles.

* * *

><p>The mall installs a photo booth by the entrance.<p>

"Come on, we have to get a picture. The only thing on our fridge is that picture of a pig that Daniel drew us." He drags her across the parking lot.

"It's a cat." Alex corrects.

"Cats don't have curly tails." Sean points out.

"Well, pigs don't have whiskers."

Inserting a coin into the slot, he presses against her. She gives him a quick kiss, a smile on her lips.

"Eww!" a voice shrieks from outside the booth. Pulling back the curtain, they see a little girl looking at their picture strip.

"Hello there," Alex greets her, holding back a laugh.

Swinging her pigtails, she cranes her neck to look at her. "Hi."

The child's mother comes running behind her.

If she was a mother, she'd never let her kid stray. Not at that young of an age, across such a busy parking lot.

But she's not a mother. She's the one thanking the child as she takes her pictures from her hand. She's the one watching the child go, hand tucked into her mother's.

Sean reassures Alex that it's all going to be okay, because he sees that look in her eyes. The one that says she is so sorry.

He wishes she'd stop blaming herself.

* * *

><p>Alex wraps the blanket tighter around her body. It's oddly cold in the arena, no matter how stupid that may sound.<p>

It's also the first hockey game that Daniel is playing in. Everyone is there to cheer him on.

"You go Danny!" Owen shouts next to her.

He scores a goal, and they cheer for him.

Sean's knee bumps Alex's beneath their blanket. At first, she thinks it was an accident, then he mumbles in her ear. "He must be so embarrassed."

She smiles. They both know that if it was their kid out there, they'd be screaming their head off too. It wouldn't matter if they'd get laryngitis and not be able to speak. They'd make that kid feel like the most special person in the world.

That's what parents are meant to do.

"Whooo! You rock Danny!" she screams.

He may not be theirs, but he's the closest thing they have.

* * *

><p>It was a nice surprise when Nikita came to visit, she brought the mail in for them.<p>

Catalog, catalog, bill.

Huh.

"I know you both feel bad about not being able to have kids," she explains as Sean scans the first page. "And Daniel's been wanting a playmate."

He drops the stack of printed sheets. Then he hugs her.

Alex enters the room, placing her empty coffee cup in the sink.

"What's going on?" They glance to each other, silently agreeing that he'll be the one to ask her.

"Check these out." He passes the sheets to her.

"Adoption?" She leafs through a couple of pages. They had lost hope when the doctor had told them no.

She should have known that he'd find a way to prove him wrong. He never lets anything get in his way. Not forever.

She smiles, tears blurring her vision as she kissed Sean quickly before walking to Nikita and wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug.

* * *

><p>There's no crib or diapers. There's no endless baby name lists, or scribbles on the wall, save for Danny's happy stick figure family. They'll have to add another one in.<p>

This one will be a girl.

Her name will be Jennifer. Everyone else will call her Jen, but Danny's the only one allowed to call her Jenny.

She'll have no combat skills whatsoever, doesn't even want to throw a punch when Sean insists she go to karate. It'll be odd, because they always thought between the two of them their kid would be a black belt in everything. But she's smart for her age, and they know her future is bright.

She chases after Danny on the ice rink. He's teaching her how to skate; even if she does keep falling down she always gets right back up.

They forget about the past and decide to only focus on their future, the three of them together for the rest of their lives.

**REVIEW!**


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